Many Words Begin With T
by bookgodess15
Summary: After a pile of boxes falls on top of them, Wilson has to keep House awake because he has a concussion... so they play a game. House tries to make it a little more interesting.
1. Of Transsexuals & Tampons

**Author's Notes: **A fun little game my friends and I play when we get really, really bored. It's a lot harder than it seems - try it some time.**  
**

**Many Words Begin With T**

"Total."

"Tap."

"Tracy."

"You can't use that, House."

"Why not?"

"It's a name."

"So?"

"You can't use names, countries or numbers. It's the rules."

"Fine. Thymus."

"Ooo, good one."

"Thanks."

"We've already used that one."

"I'm aware of that, Wilson. Um...turtle."

"Throttle."

"Trot."

"Trotting."

"I just _used_ that!"

"You're allowed to use a form of the same word, House."

"This is stupid. What kind of game is this, anyways?"

"My friends I played it all the time when I was young."

"Wow, you must have had some really _boring_ friends."

"House..."

"Thatch."

"Tooth."

"Tap dance."

"You can't use that, House."

"Why not?"

"Because it's two words, and we've already used tap anyway. Try again."

"Try."

"Theater."

"Thyme."

"We already used that. I said time right before you said terror."

"No, you meant it as in time, the thing you can measure with a clock. I meant it, as in the herb."

"Doesn't matter, House. You can't use the same word under a different definition."

"The herb 'thyme' is spelled t-h-y-m-e."

"Oh."

"Do we have to play this?"

"Termite."

"Typography."

"Typewriter."

"Trash. Kind of like what we're stuck under, ironically."

"We're not stuck underneath trash, House, we're just stuck under a bunch of heavy boxes. Besides, the night janitor will be down here soon, and he'll hear that we're trapped and free us."

"Oh! Trapped!"

"No, that's mine."

"Bastard. You should be nice—I'm the one who's injured here."

"You have a concussion, House, which means you have to stay awake. Which is the only reason we're playing this ridiculous game in the first place."

"And because you were bored."

"I was not. I would have been quite content to lay here quietly, trapped under the mounds of boxes that _you_ knocked over in the first place, which is why we've been down here for God knows how—"

"Turpentine."

"What?"

"I said turpentine."

"I know... tattletale."

"Tsunami."

"Tornado."

"Okay, um... teleport."

"Transvestite."

"_What_?"

"It's a word, Wilson."

"I know that. What I don't want to know is why that came to your mind. Um..."

"What's the matter. Did I throw you off?"

"No."

"Then let's hear it."

"Um... tooth."

"We've already used tooth. Right after you said I couldn't use tap dance."

"Right."

"It's still your turn."

"I know that! Um... traffic."

"Transsexual."

"House!"

"It's a word! Look it up!"

"That might be a little hard, House, considering that we don't usually get dictionaries shipped in with boxes of Latex gloves and suture kits."

"It sure _feels_ like we've got a load of dictionaries sitting on top of us. _Unabridged _dictionaries."

"I concur."

"Are you sure that you can't move one of those boxes?"

"Yes. Whose turn is it?"

"Yours."

"Ah. Tongue."

"Testicles."

"...Maybe we should play a new game."

"I'm starting to like this game. You're just sore because you're losing."

"Can we switch to a different letter, House?"

"Which one? Can we switch to S?"

"_No_. How about V?"

"Okay. Vagin—"

"Maybe we should stick with T."

"You're no fun."

"I do try. Tassel."

"Triangle."

"Trill."

"Tampon."

"_House_!"

"What's the matter? You're a doctor."

"Entirely beside the point. That's—it's not—"

"You're blushing."

"I am _not_."

"You are."

"It's pitch black down here! How could you tell anyway?"

"I can feel it. Your cheek is up against my hand."

"I'm not blushing. And I have no problem with the word 'tampon'."

"Then what's wrong?"

"You're incorrigible, House... just take your turn already."

"Is tang a word?"

"No."

"Okay then... tangle."

"Triumph."

"Triumvirate."

"..."

"What's the matter, Wilson? Can't think of a word?"

"I know another word. I just can't... remember it."

"Totalitarian."

"I know it! It's on the tip of my tongue!"

"Temperature."

"AHA! Ti—oh. Never mind."

"Never mind what? What are you snickering at, Wilson?"

"Nothing."

"Say it."

"..."

"_Wilson_!"

"Titties."

"..."

"..."

"I think it's time for a new game."


	2. Of Shoehorns and Sad Solos

**Author's Notes: **Okay, so I had the write a sequel. Thanks a lot to Sputty, for giving me the idea that sparked this chapter, and to everyone who reviewed the first part! I seriously doubt that there will be a part 3, but should inspiration ever strike, I will post. So here you go - enjoy!**  
**

**Many Words Begin With T**

**Part 2**

"The."

"Cat."

"And."

"Dog."

"And."

"Pigs."

"And."

"_House!_"

"And."

"You have to use more than one word!"

"And?"

"Because that's the way you play the game. If you won't play, then I can start lecturing you about your little prank in Geriatrics yesterday—"

"Ran!"

"Fast."

"Across."

"The."

"Moon."

"Until."

"They."

"Saw."

"A."

"Big."

"Son."

"Of."

"A."

"..."

"Go on."

"..."

"You have to say a word, Wilson. It's the _rules_."

"If I was able to move my hands right now, I would be strangling you right now."

"Be a man, Wilson. Say it!"

"..."

"_Wilson_..."

"...Shoehorn."

"Son of a _shoehorn_?"

"That's more than one word, House."

"I don't care. This game is stupid."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"You could let me go to sleep... my head hurts."

"You hear that sound in the distance? It's the world's smallest violin, playing a sad, solo tune just for you."

"Ha, ha, Wilson. So funny I forgot to laugh."

"Was that supposed to hurt?

"Hey, what is this, the Overused Lines Convention?"

"This is stupid."

"It's keeping me awake."

"Let's play another game."

"Ooo! I know!"

"...Do I want to know?"

"I Spy! I _love_ that game!"

"You know, House, to play I Spy you have to be able to see."

"That'll make it more interesting. I'm going first—I spy something... white."

"I can't see anything white! I can't see anything but the floor!"

"Quit whining. You're making my head hurt."

"It _already_ hurts."

"Not the point."

"Fine... Is it one of those boxes?"

"Nope."

"A suture kit?"

"No."

"Gloves?"

"You suck at this game."

"I can't _see_ anything!"

"You hear that sound in the distance? It's the world's smallest violin, playing a sad, solo tune just for you."

"Ha, ha. Get your own witty comebacks, House."

"Here, we'll start again. I spy something orange."

"Your underwear."

"Heh. No."

"A coffee pot."

"Now what would a coffee pot be doing down here, Wilson?"

"I don't know! House, I can't _see_ anything! This is insane!"

"Stop being so cranky. We're playing a game—games are fun!"

"I've changed my mind. Go ahead and fall asleep. A little brain damage on your part is worth the silence."

"Some friend you are, Wilson. I feel loved."

"That must be new for you."

"Oh, that was _harsh_."

"I'm getting a headache..."

"I'll distract you. I spy something... blue."

"The janitor!"

"Right... because the janitor is Papa Smurf's illegitimate grandnephew."

"No, I hear the night janitor! Listen!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hey! Hey, we're stuck under here!"

"Yeah! It's about time you got down here—just wait until Cuddy hears how you dawdle!"

"Over here! Under the boxes!"

"Hey! What's taking so long? Get over here and help us!"

"We're stuck!"

"He's leaving... listen, Wilson. He's leaving! Hey!"

"No, he's not..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh, crap..."

"What?"

"The night janitor's Moe."

"And?"

"Moe's deaf."

"..."

"..."

"Please. Just shoot me now."

"You'd think I was annoying or something, Wilson."


End file.
